Four and a Half Devils
Kalentiri, Part Four: Across the Planes (Chapter 36)
Results of the last poll: Is the party able to convince any devils that they are from the Compliance and Conformity secret police? (7 votes)
Yes (71%)
No (29%)
“Right this way, my friends,” Ripple said. Castle watched the goblin grifter finish jimmying the lock and push the door open. “I’ve cased this place many times. They’re on a trip to Synstrix for the next month or so. As long as we fluff the pillows when we leave, no one’ll be the wiser.”
He ushered them into a sumptuous parlor and coaxed a handful of glowstones into life. The two felenin followed him inside, their paws on the hilts of their blades.
But the place was empty. Castle elbowed Summer in the ribs. “I thought you said we needed to act above reproach.”
“I did.”
“We just broke into someone’s home.”
“Actually, Ripple broke into someone’s home. We just happened to follow him into an unlocked house.”
“Ah, so that’s how we’re playing this.”
“If the devils can add miniscule fine print to their contracts, then we can trade in technicalities.” Summer sat down on a plush sofa. “Besides, if we’re going to be unconscious for a while, I’d rather sleep in comfort.”
“Speaking of,” Xander said as he tested a wide armchair, “I’m wondering how all of this works. If we send our Numas to Pyrasmos, do our clothes and gear come with us? Doesn’t seem likely.”
“I was clothed last time,” Iris said. “Or if I wasn’t, Liceweed didn’t mention it.”
“How does that work then?” Xander asked. “Our clothes aren’t part of our spirits.”
“I think I was-s-s naked in the Astral S-s-sea,” Acarax said.
“And you’d rather not wear clothes if given the choice, right?” Summer said.
“That’s-s-s-s right.”
“Then perhaps our Numas display what we want them to look like,” Summer said. “An ideal version.”
Xander hopped down from the armchair and tried the ottoman. It was the perfect sized bed for one of his stature. “By that logic,” he said, “we might be able to influence our appearance if we think really hard about it when touching the Isbryd.”
“We could test it,” Iris said. “Let me go talk to Liceweed one more time, just for a minute.” She laid down on the sofa opposite Summer.
“Maybe I should go this time,” Castle said. “You, Acarax, and Summer all know how it feels. I’ll try to imagine myself as a scary devil.”
Iris sat up. “I suppose that’s a good idea.” She produced the Blood Bond Quill and handed it to Castle. “Make him think you’re from Compliance and Conformity.”
“I wasn’t planning on doing much talking. Pull me out in two minutes.”
Castle stretched out on the couch and waited for Xander to put the shell in his paw.
“Remember, you’re a devil,” he said, holding out the Isbryd.
Castle took a deep breath and flashed through the planes, arriving with a lurch in the office that Iris had described.
A slovenly devil sat at the desk, engrossed in paperwork. He wore a ragged jacket over a stained shirt. Something stringy and meaty dangled from his mouth. His horns, one of which was broken off halfway down, were the ugly yellow color of an old bruise.
Castle looked down at his appearance. Thankfully, he was clothed. Disappointingly, he still had fur and paws. He stood in silence, reached for the doorknob, and slammed the door shut.
“Liceweed?” Castle bellowed.
“That pompous windbag?” the devil said without looking up. “I’m Toadslime. Whaddya want?”
Castle knew he only had a few seconds. He decided to be as intimidating as possible. “Stand when you address your betters!” he said, his voice low and icy.
Toadslime jumped to his feet, and the dangling meat fell to the desk. “You’re…you’re…” he stuttered.
“I’m what?” Castle pressed.
“A…a…a Cabaddon!” Toadslime said with a shudder, then he bowed low. “What have I done, my lord, to require your presence?”
Castle had no idea what a Cabaddon was, but it was obviously something the devil feared. “Do not avert your eyes, Toadslime. Look at me and tremble!”
The devil glanced up.
Castle puffed himself up to his full height. “Your life depends on your answer to this next question. Can you see all of me? Am I at all transparent?”
“Transparent, my lord?”
“See-through, you dotard.”
“No, my lord. I can see you quite…quite clearly. Please, I would know why you honor me with such an unexpected visit?”
Castle surveyed the office. There wasn’t much space. “I have business in this building,” he said, and his voice dropped to a harsh whisper. “Secret business. Do you take my meaning, Toadslime?”
The devil shuddered even more. “Yes. Yes, my lord.”
“I require your office. You will vacate it for the rest of your shift.”
“Right away, my lord.” Toadslime scooped up the bit of meat, shoved it into his mouth, and hurried from the office.
_______
Xander pulled the shell from Castle’s grip. “You see, Ripple? Once it leaves contact with a person, their spirit returns to their body.”
Castle opened his eyes. “That was close,” he said. “We have a window of a few hours. Toadslime has left the office.”
“Wow!” Iris said. “How did you get him to do that?”
“He thinks I’m something called a Cabaddon. Do any of you know what that is?”
Everyone shook their heads.
“Cat demon,” Ripple said. “High-ranking in the devilish order.”
“How did you know that?” Summer said.
The goblin grinned sheepishly. “Sometimes I, ah, audit classes at the colleges. Infernology seemed interesting, so I went a few times.”
“Was it interesting?” Iris asked.
“Not really. It was all about the caste system of Pyrasmos and where different types of devils fit.”
“Seriously?” Xander said. “That’s precisely what we need to know!”
And so for the next half hour, they grilled Ripple until he had dredged up everything he could remember about the plane of Pyrasmos.
When he was done, Xander looked up from his note-taking. “Let me make sure I have this right,” he said. “There’s Pyras, for whom the plane is named. Under Pyras are the five archdevils, who are in charge of the five domains: Snarlmar of Innovation, Molock of Temptation, Haingag of Demon Slaving, Dramin of Compliance and Conformity, and Rark of Contract Law. Under them are the heralds: Haraharm, Fladgencol, Lashwip, Gravelpox, and Luxiar.”
Ripple flashed Xander a double thumbs up. “You’ve got it.”
“Glad one of us does,” Castle said.
Summer patted him sympathetically. “The quill will drop us into Temptation Tower. Somehow we’ll have to make it across the city to Innovation Tower to meet Gravelpox. Hopefully, he’ll be able to arm us with whatever we need to take down Luxiar.”
“Without the archdevils-s-s-s finding out,” Acarax said.
“Right. Everyone ready to go?”
They scooted the chairs, sofas, and ottoman close together, and Ripple placed the Isbryd shell and Blood Bond Quill on a low table in the center.
“Remember, Ripple,” Castle said. “You keep both eyes on us. No going out for waffles or anything.”
“No waffles, check,” Ripple said.
“If one of us looks like we’re getting hurt or distressed, you know what to do?”
“Pull your hand off the shell.”
“And be quick about it. None of us want to die in another plane, separated from our bodies.”
At these words from Castle, Xander swallowed back his fear and laid down on the ottoman. The others joined him in a tight circle, arms outstretched.
“All right, everyone,” Summer said. “Think scary devil thoughts.”
_______
The five companions all dropped into the same chair. Acarax landed first, then Castle, Summer, Iris, and last of all Xander. Acarax groaned under the weight of her three friends and her one just friend. Thankfully, the chair was made for those with tails, and hers slotted out the back instead of being crushed beneath her.
“Please,” Acarax mumbled. “This-s-s is-s-s quite uncomfortable.”
Xander slid off the pile onto the desk. Summer grabbed Iris around the middle and pushed them both off the two underneath. Castle rolled off the side of the chair and laid down, clutching his belly.
“I still don’t understand how this works,” Xander said. “If we’re just spirits, how can you feel our weight? For that matter, how am I standing on this desk right now?”
Iris giggled. “The real question, Xand, is what were you thinking when you touched the shell?”
“What do you mean?”
“You make such a cute imp! Very scary.”
Acarax watched Xander look himself up and down. He had small, bat-like wings and crimson skin, but other than that, he still looked like Xander. Indeed, with the new skin tone, he and Iris looked more like siblings than ever. Acarax glanced at the two felenin. They still looked like themselves, but larger and more imposing, and there was something sinister about their eyes that made Acarax uneasy. She could understand why the devil from this office had been afraid of Castle’s Cabaddon disguise.
“What do I look like?” she asked.
Iris’s eyes went wide. “Eww. You’re all bony, like a skeleton on the outside.”
“Am I impos-s-s-sing?”
“Disgusting is more like it. But I suppose that’s a good thing!”
Acarax peeled herself off the chair and joined the others as Castle led the way into the corridor.
“So, how are we gonna play this?” he asked. “Seems like Summer and I are the scariest. Are we in charge or are we Iris’s enforcers?”
“I think Iris-s-s-s should be the leader,” Acarax said. “She is-s-s very bright.”
“Agreed,” Castle said with a hint of pride. “I don’t offer compliments lightly, but she can think on her feet.”
“S-s-s-sitting down too.”
Iris gave Acarax’s claw a squeeze and stepped to the front of the group. “Right, team. My name is Freckle Pussboil. Liceweed all but said that name carried weight here. You two are my bodyguards, and Acarax is my advisor.”
“What about me?” Xander asked.
“Oh, you’re my pet imp.”
“Pet?” Xander said, his face going even redder.
“Fine, not my pet. You’re my emotional support imp.”
“That’s not much better.”
“Can you fly with those wings?”
Xander concentrated for a moment, but nothing happened. “I think they’re just for show.”
“Then you’d better ride on Summer’s shoulders.”
Iris turned and marched up the hall. Acarax smiled at the way she took charge, then hurriedly turned the smile into a grimace. She didn’t think devils should smile too much.
_______
Iris stepped out into the orange haze of the Pyrasmosian outdoors, grateful to have left Temptation Tower behind. Thankfully, having two Cabaddons behind her had kept anyone in the lobby from approaching them. What a reputation the feline devils must have around here!
Outside, the sky hung oppressively low, obscuring the tops of the buildings. The taste and smell of sulfur filled the air. Distant bangs and clangs and shouts echoed amongst the buildings, making it impossible to tell from which direction they came. Pulling her gaze from the foggy skyline, Iris took stock of the pedestrians around her. The streets were busy, yet orderly, with every devil walking with head up, looking neither right nor left. No one jostled or cut lines underneath the watchful gaze of what could only be traffic wardens standing in the middle of intersections. Every few seconds, rickshaws pulled by lumbering long-armed demons rumbled by in their own special lane.
“What are those?” Castle said. “Taxis?”
“Probably,” Summer agreed. “Let’s see if we can flag one down.”
They raised a paw and before long a rickshaw rolled to a stop beside them. A devil sat in the driver’s seat, a shiny medallion hanging from a chain around her neck. She was so tall and narrow that she looked like she had been stretched out like a piece of taffy. Her knees were bunched up under her chin in what would have been a comical position if she were not holding a barbed whip in one hand.
“Destination?” she said lazily.
“Innovation Tower,” Iris said as she clambered onto the rickshaw’s metal bench.
“Four of you?”
“Four and a half.” Iris gestured to Xander on Summer’s shoulders.
“I need names for the records,” the driver said.
“I don’t think that will be necessary,” Iris said. “As you can see, I’m very busy and important.”
“I do not doubt that, but we must follow protocol. I am sure you understand.”
“Right, protocol. Devils love protocols. The bony one there is, ah, Pondscum. The big ones are Doom and Gloom, and this is my imp” – Iris patted the seat next to her – “Twit.”
Xander scowled, but he hopped down to sit beside Iris just the same. “And I am Freckle Pussboil.”
“Pussboil?” the driver repeated, a hint of awe creeping into her lazy detachment. “No wonder you travel with such a retinue. We will get you to Innovation Tower posthaste.”
Iris leaned over and whispered to Xander. “Guess I chose the right name, huh, Twit?”
Xander glowered at her.
The whip cracked, and the demon loped into the rickshaw lane. Every warden along the route held up traffic to let them pass. It was good to be a Pussboil.
Ten minutes later, they departed the rickshaw in front of another impossibly tall tower. Iris allowed the greeter to open the door, but she pushed past him without returning his words of welcome. Striding into the atrium, she beelined for the reception desk. Doom and Gloom kept in step with her. Pondscum and Twit brought up the rear.
Before the receptionist could acknowledge her presence, Iris rapped on the desk and said, “I am given to understand that Gravelpox, Herald of Dramin, is here in Innovation Tower. I have pressing business with him.”
The receptionist blanched, his aubergine skin draining to a sunset violet. He obviously had no desire to treat with devils so high up in the Pyrasmosian hierarchy. “Very well,” he said, and he managed to remain professional despite his obvious nerves. “I shall send a runner. Whom shall I say requests the herald’s presence?”
“You do not need my name,” Iris said, hoping her tone was imperious. “Tell him the flower is here and will meet him in that space behind you.” She gestured to a conference room beyond the reception desk.
“Right away,” he said, scurrying off to find a runner.
“Why is everyone so eager to obey you?” Xander asked.
“They’re chained to a system,” Summer said. “The lower devils are trained to take orders from anyone they perceive to be higher up the ranks than they are.”
“You’d think there would be enough of the lower devils to stand against those higher ranks.”
Summer shook their head. “That’s where the demons come in.”
“I’m not following,” Xander said with a frown.
“As long as there’s someone below them in the order, the lower devils can say, ‘At least I’m not a demon,’ and get on with their miserable lives.”
“That’s bleak.”
“Well, we are in a literal hellish plane of existence.”
“Do you think that happens in our world too?”
Summer chuckled grimly. “You’ve obviously never been to my homeland.”
“Are people enslaved there?”
“In spirit, if not by law. The Synstrixians bought up all our land after the start of the drought. Everyone who used to own their own farm is now nothing more than a sharecropper, stuck in a cycle of debt with no way out.”
“You got out,” Xander said.
“I ran away,” Summer said. “And stole my family’s last priceless possession in the process. I’m not exactly proud of it.”
Iris did not like to see Summer so down. “Maybe after all this, you can buy back your family’s farm with your earnings from Monolith.”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Summer said, inclining their head toward the returning receptionist.
“Good news,” he said. “Herald Gravelpox is eager to meet with you. Right this way.”
Option 1: Weapons to take down Luxiar in battle.
Option 2: Intelligence to take down Luxiar politically.
Come back on Friday to see what happens next in the story of the Kalentiri. You can also listen to this chapter on the podcast side of the Trail Blaze Fiction Substack or your favored podcast app. While you’re waiting for the next installment, head over to AdamThomas.net and sample Adam’s fantasy novels.